Now that I've been in Georgia about twelve days or so, I've been reflecting a bit on how I lived for the past three years in Kansas. It's pretty interesting, musing over the things that occurred, the people I met, and my responses to both.
If you get some time to read, consider reading this piece titled "U-Haul Theology," the cover story for the Fall 2008 ByFaith Magazine. In it, the author, Jim Hatch, talks about why moving is so painful and downright annoying. It's pretty good, and it's probably what preempted this post.
So... Kansas. I pause before I write here, because two things immediately come to mind: 1) Those three years marked some of the roughest times in my life, and 2) My responses and reactions to those times were not kind (to say the least), and I feel pretty disappointed in what my responses were. A lot of what went on there also had to do a lot with the Army, but for the sake of fairness, I think I'm going to split those into two different stories, and this one is for Kansas.
Okay... well, let me start by saying this: I've generally considered myself to be more prepared to move into different environments and cultures, as I've lived in about sixteen different places since I was born. I went to three different high schools, and the longest I've been anywhere in my life was at college (4 1/2 years), and that's where I generally consider to be my hometown. I could have never been more wrong in my assumption, actually. Moving to another location is always tough, and getting used to new cultures, with different societal beliefs, values, and norms, is pretty tricky. And looking back, I was certainly unprepared.
The majority of what I saw in Kansas relied on a few distinct changes from my comfort zone. The first which caught me was the geographical differences. Some spots of Kansas are absolutely beautiful, with gorgeous rolling hills and waving grass, and what my father-in-law calls the 'Missouri Breaks' (because of the movie with the same name). Trees, however, were few and far in between. It's also not recommended driving at sunrise and sundown, because of two big reasons: One, there's nothing to stop the sun from completely blinding you if you drive east or west, and two, half of the roads there run east-west.
And while I'm at it, people give directions completely different there! From what I've been accustomed to, directions are given by landmarks ("Do you know where the Quickie Mart is on that road? Well go two lights past it, take a right, and continue until the road forks, stay left, and you're looking for your third road on the left!"), and in Kansas, they're given as the crow flies ("So from here, head three blocks west, continue north until you get to the split, and from there head northeast for three block before turning north again!"). Make sure you bring a compass!
The second big thing was living in a college town. I've been to Athens (home of the UGA Bulldogs) on occasion, and I've seen some wild things done with red and black, but it doesn't come close to the amount of purple splayed on everything! Purple mailboxes, massive house murals, curb signs, dump trucks, polos... if you're not secure with purple, it can certainly be an adjustment! A lot of what happened in that town seemed to circle around college football and Army, neither of which I was really into at the time.
Thirdly, which I hesitate to talk about, was the difference in the church culture I was used to. I still can't really put my finger on what the exact difference was, but it was just slightly so that I felt uncomfortable most of the time in most of the churches I went to (I think six in all).
I think bouncing from church to church was one of the hardest things for me, as I was really needing to find a place to 'fit,' after not finding it in the Army nor in the college town, and it really drained a lot out of me to invest a bit, and then decide it was best to move on. And I think the more churches I went to, the more bitter and cynical I became in expecting to find what I was looking for.
What was I looking for? At the time, I probably would have said grace, or correct theology, or something sounding holy and just, but on recollection, I think I was really looking for Georgia in Kansas, and that's probably why I had such a hard time. I was expecting others to fit my culture, instead of learning where I was at, and adapting to it.
The power of Christ's love present in His Church is certainly amazing. It has the power to take down our walls and prejudices, and form bonds that are so much more significant and powerful than anything the world can concoct. I know this because I met some godly people there who were able to break through to me in all of that mess that I put up.
I would have so liked to say that my faith pulled me through those rough times, but it wasn't so. Like mentioned earlier, it's the object of our faith that saves us, not the quality or quantity of our faith. It's amazing how God gets to us, even after that first moment we realize that we've been reconciled to Him. He certainly is faithful, and I think without meeting the saints of Kansas in the predicament I was in, I would've missed out on one of the more significant lessons I've learned yet, the one that taught me I'm still a sinner, still desperately in need of Christ after all these years. And that won't change. There won't be a day in my life that I'll be good enough to not have to rely on God for my inherent shortcomings, of which there are many. And that God relentlessly pursues us, and absolutely nothing will keep Him from whom He loves. Not even themselves.
Well, if you happen to be one of thems in Kansas... thanks. Thanks for everything. I don't think I would be here without you, and I mean it. I'm still surprised at how much of me you put up with, but you did! I'm not sure if my path will ever wind through Kansas again, or if you'll ever be down by my way, but if so, I look forward to that day. If it doesn't happen in this world, we'll certainly meet up in New Jerusalem! When you get there, just head three blocks west, continue north until you get to the split, and from there head northeast for three block before turning north again... ;)
Don't be strangers! I love you guys, for real. Peace and grace to you all.